I've come here to say a few things, cuz... this is the only place I feel I got people who still care for me.
I'm not looking for pity, or anything like that... I just.. I don't know..
I havn't been myself the past few days at all, I'm not happy like I usually am... I havn't been eating for days.. I just.. I don't know.
Anyway, here's a bit of what's going on. (pulling this off skype, sorry if it seems a bit off. I don't want to retype all this.)
[9:04:01 PM] Ashley (Dinoanc98): Basicly, this whole thing starts because of my Mom. The other day... she was upset because of how I dress. (I never dress fancy or anything, always wearing a t-shirt and jeans) This always happens, but she decided to take things a bit too far. She started sayings like like, "You're an aweful child, you didn't come out right. All I wanted was a sweet little girl, not some fucking she-male of a child." From that point, she went on saying how I probably do drugs, and how whenever I go places, I'm probably off having sex with random boys. Which is something I'd never do! Its stupid... and I don't even know why she brought that up. She then goes back to the he/she topic, and told me this. "If you don't start acting like a girl, you may as well get a sex change. I'll help you pay for it too, if its really what you want."
At that point I ran to my room, and cried for like.. an hour. :/ It makes me feel so unwanted... and that I'm doing things wrong. But I can't change who I am... and she doesn't get that. Its really bothering me.. thats why I havn't been talking much, and seem a bit down.
This is why I wish to get awya from my family. Things like this happen all the time... its not like its anything new to me.
Because of this, I've literally lived in my room for like three days. Whenever I'm called downstairs to eat lunch or dinner.. I refused to go down. :/
So basicly, the past few days I've kinda been starving myself too. I jsut don't want to go near my mom at all... I'm scared she'll bring stuff like this up again.